IN CASE you happened to be sleeping through the last decade, Philadelphia now has a law that limits the number and size of billboards.
So when you hear that someone wants to put almost an acre of outdoor advertising up on a Schuylkill pier - featuring five signs so big you could see them from an airplane - you might be tempted to think there's no way we'd let it happen.
But you'd be wrong.
Because it looks like City Hall is willing to accept more clutter on the city skyline in exchange for jobs.
Officials now are negotiating a deal to allow the new owner of Pier Three, a dilapidated old structure just north of the point where the Schuylkill flows into the Delaware, to wrap almost 40,000 square feet of advertising banners around the old Tidewater Grain silo. That silo, a vacant industrial storage tower, abuts the pier.
"That pier is in terrible condition, the owner says he needs this extra revenue to reconstruct it - and he contends that once it is done they'll be creating about 110 new jobs," said Council President Anna Verna. "Who is it really hurting?"
I say it has the potential to hurt us plenty - depending on how well we negotiate this deal.
It's true that a reclaimed pier, a rescued historic building and more than a hundred jobs are worth a compromise.
But these giant wall-wraps - which would likely bring in more than half a million profit each year - would reach well into the city skyline, greeting visitors from the highway as well as the airport.
And once installed, billboards are notoriously difficult to remove. At least five in this city remain, despite being ruled illegal by the state Supreme Court.
So forgive me if I worry that this could turn into a permanent source of corporate profit.
The company in question, Preston Ship and Rail, rebuilds fish habitats by dumping old concrete pipes and tires out into the ocean and the Delaware Bay.
President Daniel Perkowski says he looked for another home for his business, but found none. This pier, which he bought from his former landlord, is caving in and needs about $15 million in repairs.
He says he needs help finding the money.
"I didn't want to buy an albatross, but now I have one, and my intention is to fix that pier," Perkowski said during recent testimony before the zoning board.
Architects say the building that Perkowski wants to use for his ads has some historic significance. But the only way to get there is by driving through a city dump. So it's of little use for other money-making ideas, like condominiums or a gym.
Perkowski, who promises to use the ad income to pay for repairs, said he thinks he'd get other companies to use his pier for loading and unloading their goods - thereby bringing the city as many as 110 new port jobs.
And that sounds good.
But the ads would dominate views from the George C. Platt Memorial Bridge, I-95, and the Naval Business Center, and would also be seen from FDR Park.
Also, the property is located within a Keystone Opportunity Zone, which means that taxpayers are already underwriting his virtually tax-free business.
"A fully functioning pier is a good idea, but I'm not clear that this is the way we'd want him to do it," said Robert Jaffe, an attorney for City Councilman David Cohen who helped write the law. "It's giant sky advertising, it's a tremendous amount and incredibly more than City Council or the mayor ever envisioned."
Mary Tracy, whose organization SCRUB has been fighting billboards for decades, says this deal would encourage other businesses to try similar schemes.
"What about Harry down the street? He's going to want to do the same thing," she said. "There are all kinds of businesses in this city that could come in and say they can't make it without this extra revenue, and believe me, they're going to be lining up."
One sensible solution to this spat was offered by David Auspitz, chairman of the city's Zoning Board of Adjustment. He suggested putting revenues from the ads into escrow.
"We're not going to put up these signs and then have that money go anywhere else but to build an investment in Philadelphia," he said during recent hearings on the matter.
But I suggest we drive a harder bargain. We should:
• Dedicate a fraction of the income toward taking down the city's supply of outlaw billboards.
• Insist that city residents can monitor how money goes in and out of this account.
• And put a time limit on the deal. When the pier's fixed, the advertising's toast.
Because a fully functioning pier would be useful, and worth something to our city.
But so is our skyline.
Just ask any of the thousands of Philadelphia voters who lobbied so hard to clean it up.
